How To Not Look Like a Troll in the Morning

Posted on Posted in Beauty

I don’t look great in the mornings when I wake up – but then who does? I love those ‘just woke up’ selfies, who are you kidding?! Below I’m going share my morning routine and some tricks I use to make me look lively.

Let’s start with a basic one and actually get a good night’s sleep. I need a solid 10 hours of sleep otherwise I’m an absolute bastard to be around. Get a strong routine in place, try hypnosis – Paul McKenna’s book and cd is pretty good. Sleep in a dark room – this helps produce melatonin, the sleep chemical. Tart cherry juice will also do this. Avoid caffeine, especially in the afternoon as it can take hours for the body to process. The room you sleep in shouldn’t be too warm either. Also try sleeping naked – changed my life.

Morning Routine

The eyes

Not a strong point for me in the morning. Some people have swollen faces in the morning others have eyes like piss holes in snow – I fall into the latter camp with having dark circles. Dark circles form due to poor blood flow, so in theory stimulate the blood flow and the dark circles should go.

Put some coffee into an eye cream (or oil), caffeine stimulates the blood vessels and drains fluid. I use ground coffee beans to  make an espresso out of, then add instant coffee granules to it, then add oil (coconut/sweet almond). It’s difficult to gauge the quantities, too much oil and it runs, not enough oil and it’s too sticky, so mix bit by bit. Apply and leave to dry, if it’s a particularly rough looking morning I’ll sometimes re wet the area and let it re-dry, then wash it off. Do this gently – the skin round the eyes is very thin and easily damaged.

For an extra boost, keep the mixture in the fridge and wash off with cold water – the colder the better, to stimulate it. A word on coffee – organic here is pretty important, typically the countries where coffee is grown don’t have robust laws surrounding agriculture meaning they can use way more fertilisers and pesticides in comparison to agricultural laws in your country.

morning routine

Applying sweet almond oil the night before helps with dark circles too. It’s full of vitamin K – a blood vessel stimulant. I was really surprised at how well this worked.  Give this one a go. Make sure you buy organic and cold pressed to have the maximum amount of nutrients in and preferably in a brown glass bottle – fats and oils tend to leach the plastic out of the bottle they are in and make sure its 100% pure.

Try elevating your bed. I’ve not tried this but apparently it helps reduce puffiness in the face generally.

Ice cubes – very stimulating on the eyes (and face generally). Make sure your wrap them in a thin cloth before applying, you don’t want these sticking to your skin.

The face

No one wants to look like a bullfrog, dehydration can be a major cause for puffiness so drink plenty of water and stay away from caffeine and alcohol.


Get tapping. Gently tapping the skin stimulates the lymphatic system. This is basically a pile of vessels that drain fluid from tissues and put it back into the bloodstream. Stimulate the lymph will reduce the puffiness. Start by tapping all along the forehead and work your way down to the collarbone. Repeat as needed. Pay particular attention to the acupressure points!

Bentonite clay. I love this clay – very good for spot prone skin – and very stimulating. You can actually feel your face throbbing with it and your skin feels pretty tight afterwards – can be very abrasive. This will definitely wake your face up and get you ready to take the world on!

So there you have it, these are some tricks I do in the morning. Give them a go and see what you think!

After completing a 2.1 in law and deciding a normal life was not for him, Michael worked in a soulless office for 9 months to raise funds to move to London. Once there he began to pursue his childhood dream of becoming a model. So far it seems to have paid off and he hasn’t looked back ever since.

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