First things first, I despise the word ‘dreams.’ Hopes and dreams are fluffy, intangible and lack substance. Have goals, ambitions and 5 year plans. Break each goal down into minor goals to enable you to execute the outcome and never give up and stop working towards it. Don’t let anyone put you off. That being said self-observation and awareness is key. We’ve all seen the talent show audition were a contestant has been told they’re no good (and it’s the truth) and they’ve stormed off screaming and ranting in a cloud of abuse. Don’t be that guy, don’t be delusional and deny reality, try, admit defeat if needed and learn from it. You’ve tried that avenue now try another one.
Don’t be scared to take the jump. Just make sure you have back up plans and things in place should things fall down and crumble. I’m not overly keen on celebrity culture but I do think there are important values that can be learnt from certain individuals. Often these individuals have had nothing and have come from dire situations and prevailed nonetheless and worked their way to the top. It’s just learning how you can do the same with the cards you’ve been dealt. What are your talents and skills? How can you exploit these? What is it about these skills that they can be exploited?
Cultivate a ‘fuck you attitude.’ This has taken a long time for me to achieve and it’s still an ongoing process. It’s difficult for me explain but I guess it comes from an ‘inner knowing’ (sounds a bit mystical, I know) and self-belief. Many people (including some family members) have tried to hold me back and bring me down. Recognising this and stepping away from and actually having the power to step away from it is crucial. You cannot doubt yourself. Words and quotes really help me out at times two of my favourite are ‘you are never as good or as bad as people say,’ and ‘there’s only one thing worse than being talked about it, not being talked about.’ People are self-centred shits – I live on a small island and the second anyone see’s you prospering they shoot you down. It’s small minded – rise above it and think ‘fuck em.’ In 5 year’s time will they matter? Will you even remember them?
Another good quote – ‘every no takes you closer to a yes.’ I’m a firm believer that there is a positive to every situation. It’s just a matter of your perception and how you’ve been conditioned. Try not to view situations as black or white, good or bad, and do not get caught up in victimhood status. I recently went ice skating which was a massive deal for me. This is the kid who went to Center Parcs and tried roller blading and spent an hour crying, falling over and watching shitty 3 or 4 year olds(I hate children, and I don’t have plans to procreate) glide past me. Traumatic is the understatement of the year. This time it would all be on ice. My legs are like match sticks (I’ve accepted this – an article on body image is coming), balance isn’t a strong point and I hate making a show of myself. 5 minutes in I thought fuck this (this attitude on the other hand is well cultivated) and really wanted to give up but I thought no don’t, then I hit the ice – cringe. My mate tried to help me we ended up sliding and recreating something out of the Karma Sutra – double cringe. I got back up and carried on and it wasn’t that bad. I learnt how to recover well pretty quickly shall we say, and after an hour I’d improved a fair bit – not Olympic standard yet though.
Accept help – no one’s is an island, this is tough one for me. I trust no one and I hate relying on other people because ultimately everyone lets you down and is in it for themselves – fair enough. I’m slowly learning to get over this. A strong support network it crucial. For me personally I think I self-sabotage or test myself. I’ll occasionally burn friends and family off and I think I do this to see how well I cope and if I can. I’ve realised that this isn’t the wisest of strategies and that I am temperamental. This being said I think it’s important to not be a doormat for people and to allow yourself to be used and stepped on – article on self-respect is coming too.
Try, try, try, go in at a different angle, try, try, try, get back up and try again. If someone tells you you’re no good – headbutt them. (Joke – please don’t).